My kingdom for a kettle

I just bought an $80 kettle. I will not link to it, because owning a WiFi-enabled kettle makes me want to vomit.

Please! please — for the love of all that is good and warm and happy — SOMEBODY please invent a kettle that automatically turns on at a scheduled time and does not require WiFi to run. I want a $0.25 RTC IC chip duct-taped to a $5 heating element, with a $0.50 LCD screen, and $2-worth of stainless steel to keep the water from falling onto my slippers. If you have an auto-off fuse, fine. If you don’t, fine. We figured this out with $10 coffee machines decades ago and no one has complained about them since.

If you or a loved one can get a design like this realistically ready to manufacture and sell in the US, I will preorder one immediately — and if you need cash to make it happen, I have a $5-10K investment pending your company’s incorporation, and there’s more where that came from, baybeee.

Written on March 25, 2023
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